Mateo Kenika Nokose

28 Months - I Love You Forever

2012-01-30T23:24:00.000-08:00

Dear Teo,

Lately you have been curious about ages - how old we are, and what it means to be a baby, a child, an adult. You occasionally proclaim with pride, "I'm a toddler!" And that you are, my dear - bright, affectionate, full of boundless energy.

You are deeply immersed in exploring your autonomy. You like to do things for yourself, and you have opinions about everything. You have started directing our pretend play, positioning me and Papa and Grammy where you want us, assigning roles, even telling us our lines: "Mommy, you are Tim. You say, 'There's smoke in the engine!' Papa, you the firefighter."

A few weeks ago, I started a journal with you. As part of our bedtime routine we get out your notebook. I ask you what you remember about your day and write your words at the top of the page while you draw / write on the bottom half of the page. I like helping you reflect on your experiences this way, and I love that you will grow up with the skill / tool of journalling, which has been so valuable and enjoyable for me.

We've also been making lists. You sometimes mention books that you'd like to check out from the library, so I started a library list that we take with us each week. List-making also came in handy one evening when you were feeling anxious about me going to work the next day. I asked you for ideas of things that might help you feel better while Mommy is at work. You came up with the following:

1. Juice
2. Going to Bounce
3. Going to Laughing Planet
4. Going places with Papa
5. Watching Caillou
6. Visiting Grammy
7. Listening to music

The next morning, I showed you the list again and suggested that we talk to papa about it. You ran up to Papa and shouted with exuberance: "Papa! Here's my list if I get sad!" You ended up having a great day with Papa. I think much of your worry was relieved just by knowing there were things you could do if the sadness came up for you.

Just after Christmas, we had a great visit with my Aunt Coreen (and her dog Kaiah), my cousins, Molly and Dan, Molly's husband, Jaime, and their son, Isaac, who is your age. We went to the Gilbert House Discovery Center in Salem and to the Riverfront Carousel.

In the China room at the Discovery Center.

For New Years, you and I journeyed by train to Seattle. This was a very special trip (made possible by generous donations to Teo's Train Fund, which we set up at your birthday party - THANK YOU to everyone who contributed!!). What a great traveler you are!

Seven hours on the train went by so fast and smoothly. We walked around, made friends with another little boy, looked out the window, napped, and chatted with the bistro car server (you asked him if trains have lug nuts). You even tried the train potty.

In Seattle, we visited our friends Natalie, Jamie and their daughter, Robin. Natalie and I have known each other our entire lives (our parents knew each other long before we were born). It makes me so happy to watch you getting to know Robin.

"What are you doing to me, and when are you going to stop?"

Buddies.

Having a blast on Robin's trampoline (this toy may have been the highlight of the whole trip for you).

The ride home was not so idyllic. Here you are about to vomit all over both of us.

Yeah, I how did I not see it coming?

After we got home, our household had a week of stomach flu misery.

On a happier note, you've fallen in love with drumming. Ever since seeing a marching band drummer in Seattle, it has been your favorite instrument.

You burst into song quite frequently. One of your latest favorites is the line "Caillou's Rock and Roll Band!" sung with gusto over and over. Here you are with Papa's ukelele.

First snow of the year (possibly the only snow of the year . . .).

And here you are with your best buddy, M. (you told me that he is your best "real friend," and Caillou is your best "pretend friend").

Auntie Sarah gave us a book called, I Love You Forever. It is one of the sweetest books I've ever read. It is about unconditional love - a mother who, through all the phases of her son's life, holds him and sings a little song to him. In the end, when the mother is very old and weak, the son holds her and sings to her, and then he begins the same tradition with his own child. Because of that book, you've started telling us, "I love you forever." Well, my darling, without a doubt, the feeling is mutual.

I love you forever.

I like you for always.

As long as I'm living,

My baby you'll be.

27 Months - Jingle Bell Rock

2012-01-04T15:56:00.000-08:00

Dear Teo,

We started this month with our annual trip to Al's Hidden Christmas Tree Farm, where we took a wagon ride to a tree field, immediately saw the perfect tree, and then proceeded to lose it while wandering around for a half hour looking for a more perfect tree! You and Grammy and Oceana got cold, so we headed back for some cider while Papa did a little more searching and finally came back with a lovely tree for us. You and Oce also took a pony ride.

On Christmas Eve, we put out some cookies and milk and you wrote a message to Santa. You've been really into "writing messages" lately. You enjoyed making a Christmas card for your friend, Miles, and another for your very favorite bus driver in the whole wide world - Nicole. Really, you adore her. You pretend to be Nicole driving a bus all the time, and when you say her name, it is with such tenderness. She thinks you are pretty wonderful, too.

Christmas morning was delightful, of course. Grammy came over, and we took turns opening gifts.

Certainly the highlight was a trash truck that Opapa sent you. Christmas could have ended right then, and you'd have been totally satisfied. He also sent a fire engine and a rescue truck. Your response to all this? WOW!!!!!!

You got to try out your new umbrella and splash in some puddles on this rainy Oregon Christmas Day.

Papa made you a really cool T-ball stand, which you have been enjoying, although so far you are more interested in hitting the post than the ball itself.

All month, you have been very enthusiastic about singing Christmas songs. When you sing Jingle Bell Rock, you belt it out as loud as possible. On Christmas night, you and Auntie Sarah and I went caroling (or, rather, we walked around the neighborhood looking at lights, laughing, and trying to get through the complete 12 Days of Christmas song). I think (at your request) we'll be singing Christmas songs for at least another month or two.

You and Papa chilling on the skateboard.

With Mama after I got my hair cut.

You - being you.

26 Months - Little Helper Guy

2011-12-08T22:00:00.000-08:00

Dear Teo,
Every morning you wake up at the crack of dawn and tell me with cheerful enthusiasm - "Mama, it's play time!" While I am still rubbing the sleep from my eyes, you are gently nudging me out of the bed, "Mama, get down, please. You on my sweeper truck." Sometimes it is a garbage truck or a fire truck. You set up a cab and driver's seat with the pillows, and off we go, sweeping streets, collecting trash, saving people, making the world a better place.

Another pretend play theme that has really inspired you is gift giving. You like to wrap up your toys in one of your baby blankets or in one of my scarves and give them to me and Papa to unwrap. One night you had a great idea. You wrapped yourself up as a gift. I opened my gift. What could it be!?! It has a fuzzy head. It has elbows. It has a soft belly. Oh! It's a little boy! I've always wanted one of these! This is the best gift ever! Then you and I wrapped ourselves up as a gift for Papa. The three of us went on like this - being gifts for each other - for a good 20 minutes one evening.

So much of your pretend play is about helping / cleaning / working / fixing. Sometimes I see boys your age doing violent pretend play ("This my Tommy gun. I shoot you."), and I try to imagine how a child would come to that theme at such a young age. Television, I'm sure. I am glad you are growing up with the awareness that there is strength and power in being kind.

One other thing you pretended was . . . MOMMY BROCCOLI. I swear you came up with this on your own. You told me your bee pillow pet was Mommy Broccoli, and she wanted to wear one of my shirts. You picked out a green one, and I dressed Ms. Broccoli. She took a bath in a "steamer basket," and then gave a piggyback ride to baby squirrel. I think with a creative mind like that, you'll probably grow up to be a novelist or something.

Here you are playing with Oceana and Miles on Thanksgiving. I can't believe I didn't take any more photos on this wonderful evening. Papa made Thanksgiving dinner this year, and we invited Grammy, Auntie Sarah, Oceana, Miles and his parents (Bill and Paula), and our friends Mark and Karen to join us. The food was fabulous, and we all had a great time. I got to play a few piano duets with Mark and Paula, and you and Miles played a little, too. We played hide-and-seek, jumped on the bed, and had a wild and happy time.

A little prince - exploring Mommy's jewelry box.

A happy day at Mt. Pisgah.

I can change the world
With my own two hands
Make it a better place
With my own two hands
Make it a kinder place
With my own two hands.

-Jack Johnson

25 Months - Pumpkins Patch and Halloween

2011-11-21T22:28:00.000-08:00

Dear Teo,

We made our annual pumpkin patch excursion, this time with our friends, Paula and Bill, and their son Miles. We've known Miles since he was a few months old, and the two of you are friends (your understanding of friendship is always expanding, which is fascinating to watch).

Picking out a pumpkin is serious business!

I'm not sure who was more excited about the tractor - you or Papa!

(No, Michael, you can't have one for Christmas.)

Feeding one of the baby goats.

Eating (I mean, kissing) Papa's nose.

We went to another pumpkin patch / apple orchard with friends, Caroline and Lucy. We went on a hayride, drank cider, climbed on a hay maze, and picked out some produce from their farm stand.

And then there was this old, beat up tractor - you had a whole story about it needing a new battery, you used your tools to fix the radiator, and you told me what all the levers were for. No joke, you spent about an hour on this thing!

For Halloween, we got you a fire fighter costume, which you wore almost every day this month EXCEPT Halloween!

It was fun to get into my old belly dance clothes to go to a Halloween party.

Shakin' your sillies out!

On Papa's bike.

At Bounce Gymnastics.

Play-dough Happy Cake

Playing with rice in your sensory box.

Sitting in your "Tree House" at a nearby park.

Second Birthday

2011-11-01T18:24:00.000-07:00

Dear Teo,

Choo, choo! You turned two (over a month ago, and I'm just now sitting down to write about it!). We started the day out by painting a cardboard box train with Oceana.

You opened some special presents from Opapa, including this John Deer tractor, a set of tools and some farm animals (all of which you love and play with regularly!).

This is the cake I made with carrots Papa grew in the garden.

And this, my little love, is how you spent at least half of your party - hidden away in the bushes, examining the flora and enjoying some quiet time.

Two of your favorite adopted aunties.

Making a crown with Papa.

The Little Prince.

Oceana's creative use for water balloons.

Blowing out your candles.

Happy Birthday, sweetie!

And thank you to everyone who helped make the day special.

2 Years Old

2011-10-17T22:25:00.000-07:00

So much happened last month that I barely know where to begin!

We spent a few days in Portland so that I could attend an infant massage instructor workshop. You and Papa got lots of quality time together while I was in class. We also had some time together as a family to go to the Portland Zoo. The animals seemed to be only moderately interesting to you. The big highlight was riding the zoo train.

There is also an old steam engine outside the zoo grounds called "Peggy." You were able to climb on it and pretend to drive it. You adored Peggy and cried hard when we had to leave.

Another big event this month was our visit with Uncle Levi, Aunt Adrienne, and your cousins, Indigo, Jaden and River. We met up with them in Redmond and stayed for a couple of nights at a resort. You enjoyed hanging out with the kids. You and River spent a long time working on a project of your own design, putting bits of grass, sticks and leaves in the crevices of a tree trunk.

We rented some bikes one day, and on our ride we saw a knuckleboom loader. Weeks later when we saw one in one of your construction books, you said, "That like one we saw with Uncle Levi." You also occasionally tell me, "I like Uncle Levi," or "My thinking about Jaden / Indigo," or you ask me, "Talk about River?" I'm sure I'll say it a million times more, but I wish we lived closer to them!

Blackberry picking with Lucy and her mama. Lucy was interested in holding your hand, and you nonchalantly allowed this.

We've been meeting up most weekends with Miles and his mama at the library. You are no longer interested in going to music time (I think it is just more kids and commotion than you like), so we have a nice routine of returning last week's books, playing in the courtyard (shown below), getting new books, and eating a bagel at the cafe.

With Miles in his wagon.

Current favorite book: Curious George Goes to a Costume Party. There is a line that makes you absolutely crack up every time I read it: "That's not a ghost, it's a cowboy! That's not a cowboy, it's a monkey! That's not just any monkey, it's Curious George!" Endless giggles!

Pretending to be a digger (or doing some meditative Tai Chi). Little wise one.

Hanging out with Grammy. Best buddies.

A visit from friends, Mark and Karen before they headed off on another adventure.

An absolutely fantastic day at Alsea Falls.

Potty training your baby doll.

You, being your sweet, funny, wonderful self.

Family Photo Shoot by Kelli G

2011-08-28T15:26:00.000-07:00

My friend and co-worker, Kelli G, has been doing our family photos since I was pregnant with Teo. Here is another batch of great shots she took this summer at Hendrick's Park.

23 Months - All Aboard the Potty Train

2011-08-28T13:04:00.000-07:00

Dear Teo,

Next month you'll be two years old! When we ask you how old you are, you say, "Almost ten." You are so proud of being a big boy.

One of your favorite things to do these days is yard work - raking, shoveling, pulling weeds, using your pretend blower, mower and trimmer. And most exciting of all is this wonderful John Deer tractor, which Opapa sent you as a birthday gift. You spend time everyday riding it, pushing it around the yard, and fixing it.

New words and phrases:

"Troublesome Trucks" (along with pretty much every other Thomas the Train character ever created)

"Celebration" (when talking about birthday parties)

"Special" (when talking about all the toys you don't want to share with Oceana - "That mine special lawn mower.")

and "I thinking 'bout that."

While playing the game where you pretend to eat my nose - Me: "Don't eat my nose, Mateo!" You, looking at me with the sweetest smile: "Mommy, that mine special nose." Ahhh, melt my heart.

After you peed in your potty by yourself, I said, "Well look at that, Teo, you are potty training yourself!" You replied, glancing at your Thomas the Train set, "Where potty train go, mama?"

Holding up a piece of bark from a tree: "Mommy! Dog bark!"

After I told you we couldn't go to the park: You sat on my lap and said, quite seriously, "Mommy, talk 'bout it," wanting to have a discussion.

Preparing for our blueberry picking by "eating" play-doh blueberries.

And, the real thing.

Oce, too.

Yoga pose

New trike - thanks, Auntie Sarah!

With buddies, Miles and Laura at the park.

Impromptu dance with a kite ribbon.

Gratitude (and Belly Buttons)

2011-07-30T19:57:00.000-07:00

Dear Teo,

ALL WHO WANDER ARE NOT LOST - This evening, you and I went for a walk (you rode your tricycle). We went about a half mile, and during the course of our excursion, your bike changed from a fire truck to a riding lawn mower to a motorcycle. We forgot your real helmet, so I put an imaginary helmet on you, and every couple blocks you'd ask me to change your helmet to a different color. We stopped to look at a pear tree, a green muscle car, and a house that you said was "not mine house" but "I live there someday." We talked the entire time. I love you. I love hearing your thoughts and sharing time with you this way. It truly fills my heart.

Wonder

SHOW ME THE BEE-BOO! So . . . you've started this thing where whenever you nurse, you put your finger in my belly button (bee-boo) . . . a tangible symbol of our connection. One day, when you were playing in the sprinkler, you got sprayed in the face. You said, with some urgency, "Mama! Open up!" "Open what, Teo?" I asked. "See bee-boo!" you hollered, I think because you needed just a bit of comfort.

Relaxing

"COME HOME MOMMY" - One day when you were having a tough time waiting for me to get home from work, Grammy came up with the ingenious idea of singing a "Come Home, Mommy" song. You and she made it up together, and it really comforts you.

Friendship

Play

Investigating

Interesting discovery - One day, out of the blue, you commented, "Mommy, I not have dog bone in mine foot." I was #1 amazed by the length of your sentence, and #2 totally boggled as to how you came up with that conclusion. I didn't even know you knew what a bone was!

Independence

Getting Bigger - Grammy always tells you that you get bigger when you sleep. So, occasionally you'll crawl into bed and tell me "Go sleep, mommy. Get bigger." This is about the easiest way to put a kid to bed I can imagine (of course we read about a hundred books every night, so it does take a long time to actually reach the point of sleep, but I'm not complaining!).

Exploration

Favorite Saying: When I say "Jeeze Louise" you giggle like nothing else, and then say "Again, Mommy" over and over.

Connection

Galloper - One of the special things that you and Papa do together is a weekly bike excursion to Bounce gymnastics. When you get home, you always have a lot to say about the things you see on the bike ride. Sometimes he takes you to see some horses in a nearby field, and feed them carrots and apples. After one of these outings, Papa drew a horse on your chalkboard and called it Galloper. Now you love to gallop around the house singing "Galloper, Galloper, Galloper!"

Curiosity

GIVING THANKS - We've started singing a new song as a way of expressing thanks for what makes us happy. "Give thanks to the Mother Earth. Give thanks to the Father Sun. Give thanks to the plants in the garden where the Mother and the Father are one. Give thanks, give thanks, for all good things give thanks." You've caught onto this idea and now say "thanks" for so many things. "Thanks coming home, Mommy." "Thanks cooking fish, Papa." "Thanks home. Thanks river. Thanks train." You offer a great reminder to me to stay in touch with my own gratitude.

Pure joy!

21 Months - Papa Love, Sweet Mama and Honey Pie

2011-06-25T22:46:00.000-07:00

Dear Teo,

Here you are with your beloved "Animal Train." You and Papa have created a game, repeated daily, where you direct Papa which boxcar to put each of your toy animals on. You then ring our Tibetan singing bowl (which you call the "ding-ding") to make the sound of the train signal.

The mailman, "mail-mail guy" is another current interest of yours. You check the mailbox with Papa each day, and you like to deliver postcards to your playhouse. One morning you and I made a card for the mailman to say "Thanks mail-mail guy." A few nights ago I made this felt mail bag for you.

Tossing rocks in the lake at the arboretum outside Junction City.

Much to my delight, you have started calling me "sweet Mama," a phrase you picked up on because Grammy calls her kitten "sweet Abby." You like it when I call you "Honey Pie," another Grammy-ism.

Very happy at a party (not a birthday party, mind you), for our friends Lane and Amy.

Nature walk in a field near our house.

Masking Tape Nature Bracelet

Childhood adventures - Into a Troll Cave

Shadow drawings: Mama, Oceana, Grammy

Playing the piano with your friend Lucy

Sand play with Oceana

Just like papa.

We celebrated Fathers Day this month. You helped me bake Papa a "Happy Cake." I also made him this wordle out of phrases that you use to talk about him and the special things you two do together.

20 Months

2011-05-23T23:18:00.000-07:00

Dear Teo,

You had a break-through this month . . . You realized that the point of the library is BOOKS not COMPUTERS! This is pretty exciting. I take you there most weekends, and you've always been more interested in pounding on the keyboard than browsing the books.

A couple weeks ago, I pulled a train book called Choo Choo off the shelf and started reading it aloud. You were hooked. The computer didn't stand a chance now that trains were involved! You marched through the aisles saying, "More train books!" So, we checked out three train books, and that night you slept with Choo Choo next to you in your bed.

Playing with the sprayer that Papa got for you! Hours of fire fighter fun.

A visit to the duck ponds with your friend, Oliver.

Looking for Easter eggs with Oceana and Grammy.

Muffin tin printing.

Giving Grammy a bouquet on Mother's Day.

Body painting.

Slide painting.

Hedge painting.

Yarn noodles and "hot tea" in the tub.

In my classroom with Lane.

With my long-time friend, Natalie.

With Natalie's daughter, Robin.

A little chef.

Public Works Day! You got to explore a fire engine, police car, street sweeper, tractors, and more!

A prince and a princess.

A Day at Dorris Ranch

2011-05-14T00:44:00.000-07:00

Dear Teo,

A few weeks ago, we spent an afternoon at Dorris Ranch - the oldest hazelnut orchard in America. It is such a special place to me. Every time I go there, I think of a walk I took there with my dad years ago. It is also the place that we held his memorial and afterward walked through the orchard with friends and family.

On this sweet spring day with you and Papa, I was reminded what a magical place it is - a place where the abundance of nature and the order of man have created something stunning and alluring - long orchard rows, the tumultuous over-full river, moss- and fern-cloaked trees, and ever-present birdsong.

More photos by Kelli G!

2011-04-25T22:20:00.000-07:00

Ahh, I am finally getting around to doing this post! Another photo shoot done by my friend and co-worker, Kelli G. This lady is one heck of a photographer, but more than that, she's truly one of the nicest people I know. Love you, Kel!

19 Months!

2011-04-20T22:37:00.000-07:00

Dear Teo,

A lot has changed for us in the last month. Your papa started a new job in the surgical unit at McKenzie Willamette Hospital. On top of adjusting to his new job, he is working hard to get the garden in. You spend a lot of time with Papa while I am at work, time you both really enjoy.

Another big change this month was that we decided to stop taking you to preschool. With Papa's new work schedule, we don't need as many childcare hours, and even after three months of going there, you still hadn't really settled in. I got the feeling you were enduring those hours rather than enjoying them. Grammy has been able to take you for the times that Papa and I are both working. You adore her, and sometimes even start waving goodbye to me before I'm ready to leave if you know it is time to be with Grammy.

As for you, my dear, you are changing so fast, learning so many new things, it is astounding. You are doing a lot of pretend play these days. You like to push your cart to our pantry, get cans of food and then take them to your kitchen to cook. You really understand the concept of "pretend." You even say the word, "ahh-tend" to tell me that the yarn noodles on my plate are not really to eat.

You still love trucks, and you like to hand me the truck part of a truck and trailer toy and have me lament, "Oh, I don't know where my trailer is!" We look everywhere (including in your ears). You make the sign for sad (telling me that the truck is sad). Finally I ask you for help. You give me the trailer, and we both clap and cheer.

Another game you invented is to fly your helicopter around, then tip it upside down until the little man falls out. You say, "Ow!" and pretend to cry. You then bring him to me to get a kiss. You call him "Baby Guy." You are also enjoying an airplane toy that papa got for you. If I ask where the plane is going, you say, "Ahh-port. Home."

You have taken an interest in the letter magnets we have on the magnet board. Papa taught you the five letters of your name. You say them: "M - A - hot T - E - O!" We crack up every time you say "hot T." I want to mention, we are in no way pushing this on you. I know some people feel that early reading is not particularly good for children, but my theory is that any kind of learning is fine as long as it is child-led. If you had no interest in the letters, we wouldn't have started telling you their names. We just expose you to a lot of different experiences and follow your lead.

You continue to gain more and more words, the most useful of these being: "turn" "trade" "mine" and "help." Less useful, perhaps, but quite hilarious - you also say a version of "Hannah Montana." Last month, my cousin Anna visited, and Oceana called her Anna Montana (Oce is a big Hannah fan). You picked it up and started saying "Lantana!"

Some fun craft projects with Oceana.

Oceana with one of her pet snails.

Sharing a snack after swimming with your buddy, Lucio.

Your first bubble bath (with Easter eggs to hide).

And one last thing . . .

Yes, you have started using the potty. One day we were playing at your friend, Dylan's house, and you saw her use her potty chair. That night, you said, "pee pot, pee pot." I asked you if you wanted to sit on the potty (which we've always just had sitting in the bathroom), and you did. You peed in it, and now you ask to use it 2 or 3 times a day.

You amaze and delight us in so many ways, Teo.

Love,

Mama and Papa

18 Months - In a Big Boy Bed

2011-03-28T23:46:00.000-07:00

Dear Teo,

In this month's photo, you are sitting on your new BIG BOY BED! Papa picked it out at IKEA, and once he set it up, you crawled onto it and laid your head on the pillow. You like to point to your chest and then rest your head on your hand to sign "my bed."

We put it in our room, right next to our big bed. So far, you have been falling asleep in it just fine, though at some point in the middle of the night, you still end up in our bed.

Speaking of bedtime, here are a few of our special bedtime routines:

Books, of course. At the moment, your favorite is Mr. Brown Can Moo.

Reviewing the Day - After books, we turn out the light and I ask "Do you want me to tell you about your day?" If you do, I tell you the story of what you did that day, starting with waking up, and ending with "And that was your day." It's a fun way to revisit your experiences, and it also helps you wind down.

Singing Goodnight - This is kind of our version of goodnight prayers. We sing a goodnight song to everyone we care about - those who live near by or far away. I ask you who we should say good night to, and you list off people. I suggest some more, and by the time we have run through everyone I can think of, you are often asleep.

Having a snuggle with Oceana and her sister Madison.

A few new words and phrases:

"Hot tea" which you cook for us daily on your little stove.

"Bwower" - meaning leaf blower, lawn mower, or various other noisy machines.

"No snow! Huh!" - You are continually surprised by the fact that there is no longer any snow outside. You follow this expression with your sign for "where is it?" and a puzzled look.

"Pooo" - means "pool." You say this almost every time we put you in the car, hoping that's where we are taking you.

"Bladerdah bladerdah bladerdah? Nope!" - Okay, we have no idea what this means, but you say it a lot. We think you may be mimicking us asking you a question and then you answer with "nope." Whatever it means, it is hilarious.

Having a sip of tea with your best buddy, "Monkey Jessie." We call her this because she does a great monkey impression. Your sign for her is scratching your head and saying "oo-oo-oo."

Riding the scooter that Uncle Levi made for you. You had a brief interest in trying to ride it like a skateboard, which luckily did not last long.

Sensory / cooking play with barley.

A serious duet with your friend, Lucio. You guys look like pros.

This is what ART looks like in our house.

Paint on paper? Been there, done that. Moving on to all visible body parts.

We love you, wild man.

17 Months

2011-02-22T21:25:00.000-08:00

Dear Teo,

Omama came to visit for a couple of days. She lives in England, so it is rare that we see her. You seemed to enjoy the way she talked (very animated and with an Austrian accent). By the end of the visit, you were calling her "Oma."

You have gained quite a few more words. "Nana" for Oceana. "oo-ooo" for uh-oh. You also say "poop," "no" "broke" "hot" "ope" for open, "that" and (your favorite)"UP!" when you want me to hold you. Oh, yeah, and your first word when you wake up is almost always "cook," which is a sweet but firm request for me to make your breakfast.

You have also learned to say "mooo" and "bock-bock" for cow and chicken. Every week you go with me to a nearby farm to pick up a gallon of milk. Sometimes we are able to pet the cows. They also have a couple of calves, chickens, and a tractor - all fascinating for you.

Your food preferences are slowly expanding. Your latest favorite is green beans - cold leftover green beans. You eat them as a snack, and one day you even asked for them for breakfast.

Preschool is going well. You still cry a bit when I drop you off, but you usually stop before I leave the building, and when I get back, you seem happy and eager to show me things in the classroom. It's still hard to leave you there, though it helps that your teacher is incredibly gentle, patient and kind. I can tell that you like her, and so do I.

A few photos from this month:

A wagon ride with Oceana

At the Gilbert House Discovery Center in Salem.

Exploring the sand with our good friend, Vicki.

Fixing things with Papa's multii-tool.

Snake boy - cute.

Snake boy - a little scary.

Studying.

16 Months - Off to School

2011-01-18T21:59:00.000-08:00

“There are only two lasting bequests we can hope to give our children.

One is roots; the other, wings.”

-Hodding Carter

Dear Teo,

Things seem to be changing a lot around here lately. Your papa has gone back to school to further his nursing training, while continuing to work and do a lot of your childcare - I think he might be superman!

Auntie Sarah and Oceana have moved out of their tepee and into a house. They are looking for a place in town, closer to us and to work and school.

Another big change has been that Grammy came down with pneumonia last month, and because her recovery has been slow, she has not been able to take care of you as much. She can play with you for short periods of time, but not for long stretches like she used to.

Because of this, we have decided to start you at a preschool for two half days a week. After much searching, we decided on New Dream Childcare Center, a non-profit organization that offers bi-lingual classrooms and strives toward sustainability in various ways.

Your first day, I stayed with you the whole time to help you get used to the place and people. Papa went with you the second day. Today was your first day there by yourself. You cried hard when I left, but when I called an hour later, you were doing fine.

The teacher said you didn't play much today, but instead you watched everything that was going on. This makes sense to me. You are observant and you like to understand things. When I picked you up this evening, you wanted a little comfort at first, but then you strutted around, so confident and proud of yourself.

------

New skills this month: You spent a few days saying "kitty," and a few days saying "maymee" (grammy), but then you stopped saying either one. You still use a lot of sign language. One of my favorites is one you made up - patting the top of your head for "papa," who is bald.

We've been working with you a lot on identifying your feelings, and you sign "sad" when you or someone else is upset. You even signed it when Sarah's dog, Bella, was whining.

Your receptive language totally astounds me. You understand so much. Once in a while, we have a little misunderstanding - like when I was reading you a book that said, "puppy kisses," and you pointed to your diaper and shook your head, no. You thought I said "poopy."

I've been trying to get you outside a lot, even though the weather has been cold and wet. Here are a few of our discoveries:

Collecting pine cones.

Fascinated by a worm

Sand play.

And here you are with friends, Josie and Sabrina, at the library. The three of you had a great time taking the cheesy romance novels off the free book rack in the lobby. We're going to have to work on your literary taste!

15 Months - Merry Christmas!

2010-12-31T21:06:00.000-08:00

Dear Teo,

We just celebrated your second Christmas. This year feels more festive to me than any since I was a little kid myself. You have been so excited about the tree, lights, presents and decorations.

Your Papa found a pattern online for a Christmas stocking and I made them. They turned out great! I think we'll do some sort of craft project each year, and that way we'll end up with a lot of nice hand-made decorations.

On Christmas Eve, we put out cookies for Santa (Nutmeg Sugar Cookies with Eggnog Icing!). You helped me bake them. When you saw the empty plate in the morning, you made the sign for "all gone."

On Christmas morning when you woke up, you jumped out of bed and pulled me up, half asleep, to turn on the Christmas tree lights. You seemed to know, somehow, that it was a special day.

You helped unwrap the gifts, and then enjoyed playing with your new toys. Your big gift this year was a wooden parking garage with wooden trucks and heavy equipment, which I think you'll be fascinated by for years to come.

I had two weeks off work this month, so we've had time for a lot of play dates with other kids. One day, we met up with friends at Bounce, a gymnastics facility.

Another day, we made mozzarella cheese with two of my teacher/mommy friends (well, I made cheese, and you were my taste tester).

One evening, we went to Oceana's school for a Harvest Party. Oce was proud to show off her classroom. The children helped prepare all of the food they served. The teacher said that Oce did the most work fixing the food, and that she really loves to cook. We got her a cookbook for Christmas, and she was immediately engrossed (just like I am with a new cookbook!).

I think you will love cooking, too. You have started helping me make our hot cereal in the morning. You scoop the oats with a measuring cup and pour them in the pan. And you have helped me make stew by putting the veggies in the pot. You also use lots of sounds and gestures to remind me that the stove is hot.

In the kitchen cupboard

Your other current interest is belly buttons. When you meet someone new, you generally want to make sure they have a belly button before you're willing to get too friendly with them. You lift your shirt to show yours and then point to the other person's belly and makes the sign for "where?"

We've gotten different responses from this. I'm noticing that a lot of people are not willing to flash their belly button, much to your disappointment. I think it's kind of a cool greeting - a way of saying, "see - we're both human, we've both got this funny little thing in our middle, we're the same." Maybe you'll start a new trend.

With love to our greatest blessing,

Mama and Papa

14 Months

2010-11-29T22:27:00.000-08:00

Hi Sweet Boy,

This month you've had lots of fun playing outside in the rain, splashing in puddles and finding worms. The first time you found a worm, we moved it from the sidewalk to a patch of dirt in our yard. Now, whenever you find one, you insist that it has to go in the same place . . . even if we find it blocks away from our house. Once we put the worms in the dirt, you wave and tell them bye-bye.

You also got to enjoy some snow one day last week. You seemed puzzled and a little cautious at first, but soon you were helping Papa and Oce build a tiny snowman.

Best buddies.

Bonding with Grammy.

A feast of blueberries on Thanksgiving Day.

Two little musicians.

Had to include this one . . . :-(

My favorite story from this month . . .

You and I went Moon Hunting one night. We found it, and then it disappeared again behind some clouds. You held up both hands to ask "Where did it go?" Then you waved and said, "bye-bye, bye-bye" over and over. We walked around the neighborhood keeping our eyes on the sky, and eventually we saw it again, which brought a huge smile to your face, just before you fell asleep in my arms.

New skills -

You pulled out your little potty chair one morning and pointed to your pants, so I pulled them down, along with your diaper. You sat down and peed in the potty. Just like that. It hasn't happened again since then, but I was pretty amazed.

You've been really interested in matching. You have a truck book, a truck puzzle and matchbox cars, and you like to find the ones that match (like the matchbox dump truck and the dump truck in the book).

Also, you're really good at nodding yes and no in answer to questions. When you nod yes, you make a kind of snorting "hmmmph" sound for emphasis. For example, "Teo, do you want to go see Grammy?" "Hmmmph!" (big nod). Well, interestingly, this is exactly what Auntie Sarah's dog, Bella, does to say yes. . . "Bella, do you want to go outside?" "Hmmmph!" (big nod). It's quite possible that Bella taught you to do this. However you learned it, though, it certainly makes it easier to find out your opinion.

And you DO have an opinion about many things. Songs, for instance. Lately, when I start singing a song, you'll shake your head "no" and do the sign for "more" if it isn't the song you want to hear. Today, while we were driving in the car, I could see you in the mirror shaking your head every time I started a song . . . "Row, row, row" NO "Twinkle, twink . . " NO "I'm a little teapot" NO. Holy cow, I know a lot of kids' songs, and it took me forever to stumble upon "My Bonny Lies Over the Ocean."

Well, kiddo, that's it for now. We love you!

Mama

13 Months - Happy Halloween!

2010-10-31T15:47:00.000-07:00

Ahoy, Little Pirate!

You are doing so many new things these days, it's hard to keep track of them! You are talking more and more. Truck (guk) is still your favorite word, but now you also say more (mo), bug, broccoli (broc), ball, and book.

Speaking of books . . . you LOVE them. Books and music are two of your favorite things. You've developed a cute little dance, rocking side to side with your knees locked. Papa and I have been taking you to Family Music Time at the library every weekend. At first the big group made you nervous, but now you clap and dance to the music.

We went on our first family camping trip this month at Beverly Beach. We spent a couple of hours playing in the sand. You were so interested in the sand, kelp, rocks, kids, dogs, etc, that I don't think you really noticed the ocean itself.

You are still a great little helper. You get out your broom at least once a day and you look for any little scrap of paper to put in the trash. Today when we were done playing with your train set, you put the pieces back in the box - your idea. Really, this is too easy!

Papa surprised you with a little red wagon. Perfect for long autumn walks.

With Auntie Sarah and Oceana. Oce is obviously your hero. You adore her and copy her every move, which sometimes pleases her and sometimes exasperates her.

The Pumpkin Patch at Lone Pine Farms.

The pumpkin surfer I carved to surprise your papa.

Happy Halloween!

We love you, buddy!

Your First Birthday Party

2010-10-01T23:09:00.000-07:00

On the day you were born,

the Earth turned, the Moon pulled,

the Sun flared, and, then, with a push,

you slipped out of the dark quiet

where suddenly you could hear . . .

. . . a circle of people singing

with voices familiar and clear

"We are so glad you've come!"

-Debra Frasier

Dear Teo,

For your first birthday party, we rented the swimming pool and a room at Tamarack Wellness Center. We met in the room for snacks and presents and then headed to the pool. Lots of friends joined us to celebrate. Auntie Sarah and Oceana helped with the setup and clean up, and Kelli G took these photos of your special day:

Birthday boy!

Make a wish!

Zucchini mini cupcakes with cream cheese frosting.

Oceana helped bake the cupcakes (and eat them!).

With papa.

Julian (in awe of something), and his mama, April

Oliver says, "Yeah! I like parties!"

Friends in the pool.

Kayla.

Karena with Elsa and Adam

Blair and Naomi

Oceana with her buddy, Julie

Watsu with Auntie Sarah

Elsa and Abigail

Colton and his sister, Mady

Oceana: Goddess of the Sea

Peaceful after an hour in the pool.

Our family.

12th Month - Your First Word!

2010-09-28T22:33:00.000-07:00

Dear Teo,

I'm going to post about your birthday itself soon, but I wanted to write a little about your 12th month, first. You are a real walker, now, and that's not all . . . You sometimes run, which scares the heck out of me. You can also OPEN THE FRONT DOOR!

Once you get the door open, there are four places you generally go - to grammy's house, to the watering can and garden hose (you do water play just about every day), to the garden to pick cherry tomatoes which you like to squish the juice out of and then feed to me, or to the end of the driveway to look for trucks and buses going by on the street.

Which leads me to the other awesome development this month - you are officially talking. Your first word (besides mama, bapa and bye-bye) is TRUCK, pronounced "chrck" and said with awe and urgency. There was road construction outside our house a couple of weeks ago, and you were fascinated. Even now, when you wake up in the morning, you lead me outside first thing trying to spot a "chrck" or a "bu" (bus).

Transportation seems to be the theme these days. Your favorite things to play with are grammy's matchbox cars and your Thomas the Train stuff.

Your other great interest is . . . cleaning! Really. You just go around cleaning things. You like to pick up leaves off the driveway and throw them into the flower bed (usually with an enthusiastic "Yaaa!" sound, as though you are heroically vanquishing the foe of messiness). When you are done eating, you like to wipe your high chair with a wash cloth. I took you to a picnic today, and you diligently picked up napkins and threw them into the trash can (not my suggestion, at all. I didn't even show you where the trash can was.). Seriously, this love of cleaning must be genetic, and you didn't get it from my side! :0)

I love you once, I love you twice,

I love you more than beans and rice,

I love you more then earth or sun,

Te amo, bebe, little one!

-Lisa Wheeler

A few photos from your 12th month:

With Auntie Sarah (Ra-ra)

Driving the tractor at Thistledown Farm.

Dancin' in your underwear.

Eating a "grammy cracker" with your Grammy.

Sink bath (why haven't I been bathing you this way all along? So easy!).

Summer Vacation, Part II - Rancho La Lomita

2010-09-22T21:34:00.000-07:00

After leaving Kansas City, we headed south to Hugo, Oklahoma, where your Opapa and his wife, Mary Louise live on their ranch. What a beautiful place this is - peaceful, quiet except for the steady drone of the cicadas. It was over 100 degrees each day, so we didn't spend a lot of time outside, but we did take walks when it cooled off in the evening, looking for fireflies and rarely seeing a car.

You warmed up to Opapa and Mary Louise right away. Opapa gave you some of his Native American artifacts, including some arrowheads, a ceremonial fan he made himself, and some sticks used for a children's ball game. He let you pick out a fetish, and you chose this little bear.

When he gave you these things, he mentioned that this is the Native American way. We carry things with us for a while, and then we pass them on. Opapa also gave you a book he put together with documents and photos of your ancestors, and a family tree. I think as you grow, he will have a lot of wisdom to share with you.

Mary Louise shared her gift of cooking with us, serving a wonderful Thanksgiving style meal one night, and filling us up with rich delicious food at every meal. She also gave me some cooking lessons. She has a very kind and gentle spirit.

You enjoyed the animals on the ranch, especially Opapa's dog, Blue. You liked watching the two miniature donkeys, Osito and Little Joe, although when we set you on Osito, you seemed a little skeptical. These guys were nothing compared to the two longhorn bulls, Boris and Igor . . . they were truly intimidating (unless you are Mary Louise, and then they are pets).

You also got to meet your Uncle Dan and your Great Aunt and Uncle, Jane and Jimmy. I think everyone really enjoyed getting to know you. When it was time to leave, Opapa and Mary Louise joked that they wanted to just keep you there and buy you a pony. Maybe the next time we make it out there to visit, they really will have a pony for you to ride!

Summer Vacation, Part 1

2010-08-31T21:26:00.000-07:00

Dear Teo,

Ok, here is part one of my "What did you do for your summer vacation" essay! We spent 12 hours driving, flying, shuttling and walking through airports, to get to Kansas City to visit Uncle Levi and his family.

You did so well traveling, and I must say, I pushed myself to new limits finding ways to entertain you. Your favorite distraction was riding up and down the airport escalator with me singing, "Upity, upity, up-up-up!" and "Downity, downity down-down-down."

The visit with Levi and family was great. We took you and your cousins to a place called Wonderscope, an awesome discovery center for kids. It an old school building with each room was set up with a different theme - like the farm room, water-play room, doctor room, and a room with elaborate lego constructions of sea animals and a submarine to play in. You were fascinated by it all.

Even when we didn't leave the house, you were surrounded by opportunities for discovery. Your three cousins were entertainment enough, but there was also the cow, the bull, the chickens, the Saint Bernard dog, the two cats, the chinchilla, the play structure (built by Uncle Levi), and lots of big kid toys to try out. Really, who needs Disneyland?

All the time we were there, Levi cooked delicious food for us. I loved the raw cow's milk from their cow, and the cheese, yogurt, sour cream and ice cream that he makes from it. We had eggs from their chickens and vegetables from their garden.

I helped out in the kitchen at times, which led to a minor disaster one morning. I went to put the tea kettle on, and I didn't realize that it was a special kind that goes on its own hot plate. I put it on the stove, and when I turned around it was on fire.

Adrienne turned the burner off and when she lifted it up, the plastic bottom had melted to the burner. We had to evacuate because toxic smoke had filled the house. I was outside with the kids, lamenting that I had ruined the teapot and the burner. Sweet Indigo said, "Well, just remember, it's okay and you learn from your mistakes."

There were many moments that I found myself appreciating Indigo and Jaden's gentle sensitivity as they nurtured and watched out for and included you in their play. River, when the mood struck him, also protected you by taking away things you might choke on and saying, "Can't have that. That's choke-able." As I watched your cousins together, I admired the energy, creativity and wisdom it must take to guide, protect, and simply keep up with three kids.

Jaden giving you a snuggle.

River showing telling me all about the animals in the encyclopedia.

We spent one evening watching Indigo and Jaden at their gymnastics practice. It was fun to watch them do things that I have never learned to do, like cartwheels and handstands!

You were a little frustrated because you couldn't join them, so Papa and I took you next door to a playground and you were able to swing and climb to your heart's delight. Swinging with you on my lap is such a good feeling. You totally relax against me, unless we slow down, and then you wave your hand to let me know to get moving again.

One day, you and I played Ring-Around-the-Rosie with Indigo and Jaden, going very slow for one round and then very fast for the next (when River joined us, it was pretty much fast every round). Now you love playing endless rounds of this game. I think you learned a lot from watching your cousins. I wish we lived closer to them so you could play with them a lot more.

Jaden, Indigo and King Michael.

Indigo feeding a calf at the Discovery Center.

Indigo feeding a calf at home.

You playing with the incredible marble track that Uncle Levi built.

11 Months - Garden Sprite

2010-08-26T22:23:00.000-07:00

Little Teo,

On the day you turned 11 months old, you really walked for the first time, about 5 steps across the living room. We have a push toy that you like to walk with. You do tricks, like pushing it with one hand, and then you get a big grin on your face. The other day, I was helping you push it, and you brushed my hand away, like "I got this, Mom. I can do it myself!"

You aren't saying any words (other than mama, bapa, and bye-bye), but you understand so much now. . . like, "go outside" "can mama have a bite?" "throw the ball" "turn off the light" and "put the paper in the potty" and your favorite: "go see grammy."

Whenever I say those words, "go see grammy," you make a silly little chuckle, like you just can't contain your excitement. At grammy's house, you like to play with her pots and pans or your tool bench. Most of all, you like it when Oceana is there with her 4 week old kitten.

The big event of the summer was our trip to Kansas and Oklahoma to visit Uncle Levi and his family and Opapa and Mary Louise. I'll post a separate entry about our trip.

Here are a few photos of you being your cute, funny, sweet self.

Love you!
Mama

Garden Sprite

Very Scary Garden Sprite

A Magic Bean

A Tired Little Monkey

I will be your home,
I will be your guide,
I will be your friend,
always on your side.

Sleep now in your room,
quiet of the night,
surrounded by the moon,
till you see the light.

By: Renee Stahl and Jeremy Toback

Teo at Thistledown Farm

2010-07-25T15:08:00.000-07:00

Ten Months - Using Sign Language and Almost Walking!

2010-07-22T22:05:00.000-07:00

Dear Teo,

You are ten months old! Your biggest feat this month was learning to stand on your own. You can also walk just holding on with one hand. Full-on toddling is just around the corner, and then watch out world!

You still love being outside. Papa made an octagon-shaped, redwood sandbox for you, and Grammy got you a swimming pool. You also like playing in the sprinkler and in your playhouse.

You love going to Grammy's to play. You almost always start dancing when you go over there, which is her cue to put on some kids' music. Sometimes you play your instruments, and you seem to have pretty good rhythm!

Maybe you get your musical talent from Grammy.

You are learning to use sign language to tell us "more" and "all done," a useful skill at meal time. You are eating more foods now, though whenever I have you try something new, you make a disgusted face after the first bite. Thankfully, you are usually willing to take a second bite, and often you end up liking whatever it is.

You are still sleeping with us at night. We put our mattress on the floor so you won't get hurt if you ever crawl off the edge. Waking up with you is one of the happiest parts of the day. You are a little grouchy until you nurse, but then you are so sweet and cheerful. You like to crawl over to Papa and pat him on the head to wake him up.

You and I took the train up to Seattle last weekend to visit my friends, Natalie and Jamie, and to meet their little girl, Robin. This photo pretty much exemplifies how you felt about the weekend . . . cautious and a little grumpy.

I think the highlight of the trip for you was walking up and down the length of the train (we probably walked 5 miles), and making friends. You really liked the old ladies (maybe because they remind you of Grammy), and you adored a 4 year old girl who sang songs for you.

In a couple of weeks, we will leave on our big trip to Kansas and Oklahoma to visit Uncle Levi and his family, and your Opapa. It will be a big adventure with lots of new experiences.

We love you so much, little buddy.

Father's Day and Sage's Birthday

2010-06-22T18:10:00.000-07:00

Thinking of four special fathers I know . . . Papa, Opapa, Grandpa Faulkner, and Uncle Levi.

And today (on his birthday), remembering your brother, Sage, with love. . .

Nine Months Old

2010-06-20T18:10:00.000-07:00

Hello, little love. You are nine months old now. You are becoming more independent every day, and you seem to really want to be a big boy.

You would rather push the stroller than ride in it. You like to brush your teeth when I brush mine. Papa's tools are far more interesting to you than your toys. You also have started dropping pieces of toilet paper in the toilet and watching it flush (may this bode well for future potty training!).

We took you to the beach for the first time last weekend. When we got there, it was gray and cold, but we decided to persevere and have our picnic anyway. Soon after we arrived, the clouds parted and sun peeked through. It turned into a beautiful day. You loved playing in the sand, finding rocks and seaweed, and watching the waves.

One thing that has changed in the last month, is that Papa and I have decided not to have you go to an outside childcare provider. Papa works in the evenings and I work in the mornings, so we are able to take care of you at home (with help from Grammy!).

This feels like absolutely the right thing for our family and for you. You cried every time I took you to childcare and every time I came back to pick you up. It is so much easier for me to go to work, knowing that you are with Papa or Grammy. You and Papa are forming such a close bond, and Grammy is definitely your buddy. And when I come home, you practically jump into my arms with a big smile on your face.

The biggest news for this month is that your Auntie Sarah is pregnant! Sometime next January, you will have a new little cousin. Sarah and Oceana just left yesterday for a month-long trip to Spain. Oce will be staying with her dad's relatives, and Sarah will be making a pilgrimage by foot on el Camino de Santiago with her best childhood friend, Sarah S.

I am so excited to watch Sarah go through this pregnancy and to meet the lucky little baby who will be her child.

Is Forever Enough?

2010-06-03T15:45:00.000-07:00

My dear Teo,

When I wrote my last blog post, I totally forgot to include your 8 month photo. So here it is! Usually I take a bunch and choose the best one, but this time, you only sat still for this one shot and then you were crawling all over!

Your development seems to have taken some major leaps this last month. Not only did you start crawling, you have stood without help for about 10 seconds at a time, and the other day you actually took a little wobbly step.

AND you are talking. You now regularly call me "Mama," and you call your papa "Bapa." You make the sign language sign for milk very clearly. In fact, once I came home when Grammy was watching you, and you were snuggled up with her and signing milk in your sleep!

Hearing your little voice say "Mama" fills my heart every time you say it.

Last night, I was at a Head Start teacher appreciation dinner, and part of the presentation was a slideshow of children from the classrooms set to music. One of the songs was "Lullaby" by the Dixie Chicks. I didn't expect this, but as I listened to the lyrics, I felt tears on my cheeks. It really moved me, as I thought about both you and Sage. There is nothing in the world like the love a parent feels for a child. Sometimes it leaves me totally speechless and in awe.

Loving you forever,

Mama

"Lullaby"

(listen)

They didn't have you where I come from

Never knew the best was yet to come

Life began when I saw your face

And I hear your laugh like a serenade

How long do you want to be loved

Is forever enough, is forever enough

How long do you want to be loved

Is forever enough

Cause I'm never, never giving you up

I slip in bed when you're asleep

To hold you close and feel your breath on me

Tomorrow there'll be so much to do

So tonight I'll drift in a dream with you

How long do you want to be loved

Is forever enough, is forever enough

How long do you want to be loved

Is forever enough

Cause I'm never, never giving you up

As you wander through this troubled world

In search of all things beautiful

You can close your eyes when you're miles away

And hear my voice like a serenade

How long do you want to be loved

Is forever enough, is forever enough

How long do you want to be loved

Is forever enough

Cause I'm never, never giving you up

Eight Months Old and Crawling!

2010-05-27T20:38:00.000-07:00

Teo,

You are now a man on the move. Within a span of a few days, you (nearly) perfected your crawling, and now there is no stopping you.

You still prefer to walk holding our hands, but when necessary, you can certainly get around without help! And the most likely destination? OUTSIDE! In fact, you sometimes cry when I bring you inside. Then if I set you down, you crawl right back to the door.

Your papa has been working hard on the garden. He has put in six beautiful raised beds and two trellises. We still have more to plant. It is exciting to step out the back door and see so much delicious produce growing.

You continue to enjoy sand, dirt, gravel, rocks, sticks, etc. . . Other things you have been showing an interest in are: the garden hose, the stairs in our house (you can climb them with help), the mobile from your Blessingway Ceremony, and the toy cash register in my classroom.

Mother's Day at Hendrick's Park. You rode in the Kelty backpack for the first time.

Celebrating Grammy's birthday.

A visit from my cousin Molly, her husband, Jaime, their son, Issac, and my aunt Coreen.

Playing with your buddy, Lucio.

My friend, Kelli G., stopped by for another photo shoot, and once again took some amazing shots of you. I love the black and white one . . . It looks like you are kissing me, but actually, you are playing a game where you try to bite my nose.

Kelli posted more photos on her blog: www.glazenerphotos.blogspot.com

Seven Months Old and Starting "School"

2010-04-21T16:41:00.000-07:00

Dear Teo,

You are seven months old! The big thing that we started this month was daycare . . . You are going to Kristie's house for a few hours in the morning, four days a week. Kristie, is a family friend of one of the teachers at the Relief Nursery, and she has been working with kids for 30 years. She is a very kind person, and obviously skilled (she got you to take the bottle on your first day there).

This transition has been a little hard for you, and super-stressful for me. After the first two idyllic days, you started to realize that when you see Kristie it means I am leaving, and you have cried pretty intensely about it.

It has been SO hard for me to stick with this and trust that you will adapt to being there, but Kristie assures me that you only cry for a few minutes and then you play happily with her and the other kids. This week, I've been standing outside the door after dropping you off to listen to how long you cry, and it's true . . . you stop in a matter of a few minutes. I guess it will just take some time for both of us to adjust.

You still go to work with me in the afternoons, which is fun. You love the train table in my classroom. You also like typing on my keyboard.

At home, your new favorite thing is to play with is the gravel in the back yard. You like to pick it up and then let it fall through your fingers.

You have four teeth now, and you are eating more food. I cook and puree vegetables and fruit and then freeze it into ice cube trays to thaw one at a time as I need them. It really isn't that much extra work if I just make extra of whatever vegetable we are having for dinner.

You have a blocked tear duct, which means your eye is often stuck closed after you've been sleeping. You look like a little pirate when you wake up, which is kind of pitiful, but also pretty cute. The doctor says that it should clear up by the time you are a year old.

Oceana loves to come over and help me change your diaper and feed you. She likes to pretend that she is the mother, and her doll is the baby, and I am her dog, and you are my puppy. Ruff, ruff!

A couple weeks ago, Oceana got her first haircut ever. Her hair is very long and curly, and she constantly gets comments on how beautiful it is. She has felt nervous about getting it trimmed, but after exploring the concept with pretend play (by trimming the hair on all her dolls) and watching Grammy get hers cut, she decided she was ready to try it too.

You haven't met your other cousins (Indigo, Jaden and River) yet, but we are hoping to fly to Kansas in August to visit them. It has been two years since we last saw them, so we can't wait for this trip. I'm sure it will be really exciting for you . . . Not only will you meet your aunt and uncle and your three cousins, you'll meet the chickens, the cow, the chinchilla, the two cats, and the two Saint Bernards that live with them!

Celebrating Dad

2010-03-28T19:14:00.000-07:00

Dear Teo,

It has been two years since the accident, and while I have found peace and a great deal of joy in my life (especially since your birth), I still find it hard to believe that Dad and your brother, Sagey are gone. I wish I could call Dad and tell him about the funny, sweet, wonderful moments I have with you. And I wish Sage were here, toddling and talking and being your buddy.

My Aunt Coreen sent out an email with a list of ways to celebrate Dad's life. My aunts Elaine and Margie and I added some more. Here is the list:

Ways to Celebrate Dennie's Life

(1-9 from Coreen)

1. Dig in the dirt.

2. Plant some spinach or lettuce seeds. Maybe throw in a radish seed or two.

3. Eat a HUGE slice of rhubarb pie. If that's not available, apple pie may be substituted as long as it isn't too damn sweet.

4. Eat thick slices of banana bread with just a little butter. If you don't have Mom's recipe, get it from Elaine.

5. Every morning for breakfast have a serving bowl sized serving of hot cereal. It may not taste the best, but it is filling and you'll never be constipated!

6. Work in your yard until you are sweaty and tired. Next, sit in your back yard and drink a cold beer to wash away the sweat. If one doesn't do the trick, have another.

7. Laugh out loud no matter how dumb the joke is.

8. Hug someone you love so tightly you can hear the air escape from their lungs.

9. Live each day trusting that it is your best day ever no matter how painful. Learn its lessons well, so you can move on.

(10-16 from Jessie)

10. If you have the misfortune of being stuck in a hospital, break out and walk to a coffee shop for a chai (dragging your IV along with you). When the security guard finally catches up to you, act innocent.

11. When gardening, pay small children to kill the cabbage moths. Children might also be hired to change baby diapers or wash your truck.

12. Leave dirt on the carrots. A little dirt never hurt anyone. Why the heck would anyone wash a carrot?

13. Laugh your ass off . . . frequently.

14. Remember, only boring people get bored.

15. Love your family. And love your kids more than you ever thought was possible.

16. Remember, even if the house you build is never finished, your life is your masterpiece.

(17-20 from Margie)

17. Become who you are . . . And then let go.

18. Let others tell the story of your life.

19. When the doctors tell you you don’t have long to live, start renovating your kitchen—a ten-year job.

20. Go trout fishing; swamp the canoe and dump your passengers in the creek.

(21 from Elaine)

21. meditate often, as he did on:

the existence of God

the beauty of the sagebrush desert

the magnificence of the coyote

the limitations of traditional medicine

the pitfalls of alternative medical treatments

the connections that we make with others

the bonds that are forged

the possibility of second victories

I hope this list gives you a glimpse of who your grandpa was, Teo. When you are big enough, I'll give you a giant bear hug, and then I'll throw you over my shoulder "like a sack of potatoes" and run you around the house, which is what he did to me when he would get home after a long day at work.

I am the person and the parent I am in part because of his example, so even though you will not meet him, he will be in your life in some indirect way.

Loving you, and Sage, and Dad, always,

Mama

Six Months Old!

2010-03-19T16:55:00.000-07:00

Dear Teo,

Happy six month birthday. This has been a big month for you. You are making lots of new sounds, including a pterodactyl screech when you are excited. You are ticklish now, and you love when we play "Here Comes the Tickle Bug."

Papa and I went on our first date since you were born. Our friend, Katie, watched you. She used to be a teacher at the Relief Nursery, and she is getting her masters in Early Childhood Intervention, so we figured she was qualified enough to watch you for a couple of hours.

Our course, she was wonderful with you. We went out for a nice dinner, and when we got home, you barely looked up before turning back to Katie to keep playing.

Last week, your first tooth finally emerged. I think I even know the moment it happened. You were in the carseat, and you suddenly shoved both fists in your mouth and said, "Arrrraaaaarrrraaaarrrr!" I didn't think much of it at the time, but later, your papa noticed your bottom front tooth had come in.

Since the arrival of your little tooth, we have started experimenting with feeding you solid foods. The first thing you seemed to really enjoy was broccoli.

One evening while I was prepping vegetables for dinner, I handed you a piece of broccoli and you instantly started chewing on it. You seemed pretty annoyed when I took it away, actually. I steamed the broccoli and pureed a bit for you. You loved it . . . as long as you were able to use the spoon yourself. You really didn't want my help!

I am so excited to be cooking for you and sharing delicious, organic vegetables with you. It will be even more fun this summer when we can work in the garden and cook vegetables we grew ourselves.

Papa has been working hard to put six raised beds in our backyard. This will be the first time we have had a garden, and we have a lot to learn, but as with so many things in life, the process will surely be as enriching as the final product.

Here are a few more photos from this month . . .

Our Birth to Three group, minus Papa because he had to work that night.

Visiting our friend, Lobsang, and his son, Tenzin.

Big boy at the park.

Sage's Bench

2010-03-08T19:19:00.000-08:00

Dear Teo,

My friend, Lupe, and her family donated a bench to the Relief Nursery with a nameplate honoring your brother, Sage. Yesterday she stopped by the Nursery, and I got a photo of her sitting on the bench, holding you. What a special gift, and what special people.

Sage Sebastian Carpenter

The Sweetest Boy

2010-02-26T20:01:00.000-08:00

Mateo -

Well, my dear, you are 5 months old! You are getting more serious about your attempts to crawl. Today Grammy and I put you on the floor and you managed to turn yourself 90 degrees and scoot forward just a tiny bit. The incentive for your crawling was the tubing that attaches to Grammy's oxygen machine. You are desperate to get your hands on it.

The oxygen machine, and the tubing, are a new addition to Grammy's life since her bout with pneumonia earlier this month. She ended up staying 3 nights at the hospital. You seemed to be able to tell she was sick, and you looked at her with a very concerned expression. She is feeling better now, but she still needs the oxygen and she gets tired very easily. We've had to put our long evening walks on hold for a while.

You are sleeping through the night, though you like to stay up late - until 10 or so. When you are falling asleep, you close your eyes, raise your eyebrows, and then make really funny groaning sounds. I think you are singing yourself to sleep. Or maybe you are trying to keep yourself awake.

We took you for your first swim. You seemed comfortable in the water. There were a few other babies there, and when you saw one of them splash the water with her hand, you tried splashing, too.

Walking in your big boy shoes.

Some pals from Birth to Three

Your cousin Oceana, helping me bake.

Still teething.

The sweetest boy I know.

I'll Tell You Every Day

2010-01-31T15:10:00.000-08:00

Little Teo,

You are four months old! And I am 33 years old! Some people come to dread their birthdays after a certain age, but I don't mind getting older. I think if you keep learning and growing as a person, life can continue to get better and better as you age. Grammy taught me this. I hope someday I will be a wise old woman with grandchildren on my lap and a smile on my face. A princess crown would be nice, too!

As for you, my dear, you have learned to roll over. You seemed really interested in rolling for about a week, but once you mastered it, you stopped doing it. I think it really bugs you that you can't crawl yet. In fact, I think you'd love to be walking and climbing and jumping, too. You have a lot of energy and determination, and it won't be long before the world is your jungle gym.

The other thing you have learned to do this month is make raspberry sounds with your mouth, which is extremely cute. I have a suspicion that your papa taught you to do this. He has been taking care of you on the mornings that I am teaching (unless he works, in which case you are with Grammy). You two are quite a pair . . . my two favorite trouble-makers!

At our Birth to Three group, we learned an alternate (happy) version of "You are My Sunshine." I sing it to you often, and every time I do, you smile. Here are the lyrics:

You are my sunshine, my only sunshine.

You make me happy when skies are gray.

You'll always know, dear, how much I love you,

'Cause I'll tell you every day.

The other night dear, when I lay sleeping,

I dreamed I held you in my arms.

When I awoke, dear, I saw you smiling,

So I looked in your bright, shining eyes.

Happy Holidays!

2009-12-28T14:57:00.000-08:00

Dear Teo,

Last month, we celebrated your first Thanksgiving with Grammy, Auntie Sarah and Oceana, and we started a new family tradition: The Gratitude Wall. We have a chalkboard wall in our kitchen, and every year between Thanksgiving and Christmas, we'll write things that we are grateful for on the wall. Here is what we have up there this year.

A couple of weeks ago, I returned to work at the Relief Nursery. The first day I went to work was the first time I've ever been away from you for more than an hour and a half. I was really nervous because you had never taken a bottle (and cried loudly whenever one was offered to you). But Grammy and Aunt Sarah worked their magic, and after my four hours of teaching, I came home to find you fussy but not frantic, and Grammy said you hadn't cried much at all (although you still didn't take the bottle).

So, I took you back to the Nursery for the second half of my work day, where you made friends with my coworkers and seemed to enjoy the excitement of being somewhere new. Here you are with my friend (and fellow teacher), Jessie H. We have a joke at work that she is the "Bad Jessie" and I am the "Good Jessie," but I think you bring out her angelic side.

The second day that I had to leave you to go to work, your papa took care of you, and you were peaceful and happy when I got home. So, in spite of my concerns, I think this transition will go pretty smoothly . . . at least for you. As for me, it will take some time to adjust to this new schedule and dividing my energy between work and home.

The weekend before Christmas, we went up to Portland to see the Grotto - a family tradition. This year we took the train up, which is a great way to travel with a baby. You were totally content the whole trip, except that evening in the hotel room. You seemed really nervous to be going to sleep somewhere other than your own familiar bed.

Our friends, Kelly and Colin and their three children joined us at the Grotto.

Their youngest daughter, Maya, alternated between calling you "Matato" and "Potato."

Your first Christmas - We kept things pretty simple this year, enjoyed time with friends and family and ate a lot of good food.

Oceana trimming the tree.

Oceana's gingerbread masterpiece (complete with a shop, a playhouse, a garden and a compost heap).

Your Papa cooked Christmas Eve dinner - breaded fish, which was his family's tradition.

Here are some other photos from your third month.

Checking out your friend, Leto, at Birth to Three.

Hiking at Mt. Pisgah and Willamette Park.

Hanging out with Auntie Sarah.

Chewing on my wrap . . . we think you are teething.

We love you, sweet boy!

Opapa's Visit

2009-12-12T22:26:00.000-08:00

Dear Teo,

Last weekend your Grandpa Ben flew out from Oklahoma for a visit. You will know him as Opapa (German for Grandpa). We had a wonderful time with him. One thing that I noticed about your Opapa was his open, generous heart. He was obviously delighted in you from the moment he saw you. He never tired of talking to you, telling you the names of things, playing pat-a-cake with you, and getting you to smile.

Your Opapa has a lot to share with you about your family history. He is a member of the Creek Indian nation, and he finds a lot of meaning in his Native American heritage. He likes to call you Nokose, your Creek middle name (meaning "bear").

Opapa brought some special gifts for you, including a hand-carved ceremonial bear rattle, a stone bear totem, a beautiful pair of moccasins, and a lizard fetish which is made to hold your umbilical cord. He also gave you a book about bears. He wants to pass things on to you that will continue to be meaningful to you for your whole life - things that represent your connection to the Creek culture.

During Opapa's visit we went to a Christmas tree farm. A horse-drawn wagon took us to a field of trees of various types and sizes. We spent about twenty minutes searching for just the right tree. Then your papa cut it and we rode back in on the wagon. Opapa and I drank hot cider while papa got the tree on the car.

When we got home, papa and Oceana got the tree ready, and papa put up Christmas lights on our house. The next day, the decorating continued. Oceana and Opapa and I made paper snowflakes to hang on the window.

Opapa's visit was a wonderful Christmas gift. We hope to visit him and his wife, Mary Louise, in Oklahoma sometime soon. We really want you to get to know him. His kindness and wisdom will nurture you as you grow.

Our Little Chili Pepper is Two Months Old!

2009-11-24T10:20:00.000-08:00

Dear Teo,

My sweet boy, how much you have grown in the last month!

Some of the things you are enjoying these days are: your fish mobile, the game where I stick out my tongue and then you stick out yours, the game where papa lifts you up over his head and then back down over and over until his arms feel like they are going to fall off, having conversations with your Grammy, listening to me tell the story of the Three Little Pigs with silly voices, a book with photos of baby faces, papa's made-up songs, and snuggling with me all night long.

Some things you do not like: riding in the car seat, skipping your morning nap, trying to nurse while people are talking, trying to nurse if I'm not looking in your eyes and holding your hand, the pacifier, the bottle, hiccups, and 7:00 in the evening (appropriately called the "witching hour" by some parents).

Your Grammy has been babysitting you for about an hour a day. I use that time to take a shower, go for a run or get chores done. I often wonder how parents survive without a Grammy (or some loving, patient, intuitive person) nearby.

And here is your honorary grandma. We went back for another visit with our midwife at the Birth Center, and this time we remembered to get a photo!!

Papa and I have joined a Birth to Three group. Birth to Three is a local non-profit organization that brings together parents with babies the same age. We meet every other week with a facilitator who offers some parent education, and we share with and get to know 9 other families and their babies. The groups will be really fun once you and the other kids start to notice each other and interact. I know some people who went through Birth to Three with their babies who are still in contact with the other parents when their kids are teenagers. It is helpful to have a community of people who are experiencing the same joys and struggles of parenting.

For your first Halloween we dressed you as a chili pepper. You had your costume on for about 10 minutes, and then seemed to find it irritating, so we took it off. You slept peacefully through the party we went to, which was no small feat since it was a party of boisterous two-year-olds!

On your two month birthday, I planned to take a photo of you. Note to self: don't schedule a photo shoot and vaccinations on the same day. Actually, don't schedule anything on vaccination day! You got your shots at 10:30 in the morning. You cried for most of the day and by 4:00 in the afternoon you were running a fever. We skipped our Birth to Three group that night, not wanting to put you through yet another car ride, and we ended up taking your photo a couple of days later.

Other family news:

Your Uncle Levi sent us this amazing shelf that he build. It is made without any screws or nails. Instead, it is held together by wooden pegs. We put it in the kitchen to hold jars of cooking supplies. It makes me happy every time I look at it because I think of Levi.

Your papa got me a pizza stone and a bread recipe book, and I have been learning to bake bread. This (and cooking in general) have been so nurturing for me. When I met your papa, I literally didn't know how to cook anything more complicated that macaroni and cheese. Somehow I survived until my young adulthood without ever learning to cook or plan meals. After some diligent work (and lots of experimenting) on my part, it now feels fairly easy to cook healthy meals for our little family. I look forward to when you start eating and I can try making your baby food.

Your cousin Oceana has been enjoying helping me bake. Muffins are her specialty, and she particularly likes any baking project that includes chocolate chips. She and my sister, Sarah, are going to help me make Thanksgiving dinner this week.

We have so much to be thankful for this year, Teo. Most of all, we are thankful for you and all the fun and learning and sweetness you bring to our lives.

All our love,

Mama and Papa

Special Toys for a Special Boy

2009-10-29T22:59:00.000-07:00

Dear Teo,

A lot has happened in the last two weeks. You got your first cold. Luckily it only lasted a few days, but that meant a few nights of very little sleep for me and papa. One morning, your papa was so tired he almost poured ketchup into his tea instead of agave!

You are all better now, and growing like crazy. The last two times we have taken you to the birth center for your weekly weigh in, you had gained 10 ounces each time. You are now over 8 pounds.

You are ever more alert and interested in things around you. Last night I played the piano while you were in my wrap, and you seemed to enjoy it. Your eyes got big, and you made soft cooing sounds.

You definitely smile in response to us now. In fact, you smile at papa almost every time you see him! You have also started smiling sometimes when I play peek-a-boo with you, though other times you stare at me like I'm being strange.

You are just starting to show an interest in toys. You especially like a ladybug with crinkly wings. Several of our friends have given you some really amazing hand-made toys that I am sure you will enjoy as you get older. I am happy to surround you with things made by the hands of people who love you.

Our friend, Amee Pacheco stopped by for a visit a couple of weeks ago. She is, among other things, a knitter extraordinaire, and she made this adorable little pig in board shorts for you. It even has a belly button and a curly tail.

Our friends from Arizona, George and Susan, visited us last week. You spent a long time snuggled up with George. Susan gave you this red horse, similar to the green one she made for Sage when he was born.

My brother, your Uncle Levi, made a beautiful rattle out of wood from a walnut tree on his property in Kansas.

Amy Ripley, who was my first teaching partner at the Relief Nursery, knitted a little bear for you. She had made a bear for Sage, too. Yours is the smaller, light blue one . . . the little brother bear.

You were also given a very special toy by your great-aunt Elaine (my dad's sister). This little dog was my dad's when he was a boy. It was made for him by his great-aunt, Carlotte, a Benedictine nun. This little dog is 65 year old!

I wish so much that you could have met Dad (your Grandpa Faulkner). He would have teased you and tickled you and taught you many things. And he would have loved you with all of his very big heart . . . just like we love you, Teo.

Mama and Papa

Happy Birthday - One Month

2009-10-18T19:51:00.000-07:00

Dear Teo,

Today is your one-month birthday. You have changed a lot in the time since your birth! You are very alert now, and you are able to track movement with your eyes. You like to look and my and papa's faces, and at your mobile. You also like to look out the window.

Your happiest time of day seems to be morning. That is when you play on your mat and have tummy time. You push with your feet, and if I put my hands against them, you scoot yourself across the mat. You also have "Papa Time" every morning, when the two of you play and Papa sings silly made-up songs to you.

You have started sleeping better at night, and we're not feeling quite so tired. I've been taking you for walks most days. Sometimes Papa or Auntie Sarah or other friends come with us. You usually sleep through the whole thing, though today you spent a good bit of time awake, watching the world go by.

I take you next door to visit Grammy everyday. You are usually sleeping when she sees you, so she really likes it when you wake up and she can play with you. A few days ago, she was holding you and she noticed you staring at the ceiling fan, so she turned it on, and you were mesmerized.

This month seems to have gone by very fast. Every day brings new surprises, and that is part of the gift you bring to our family . . . an ever-present sense of wonder.

We love you right up to the moon . . . and back!
Mama and Papa

Prayer Flags

2009-10-16T21:53:00.000-07:00

I've been working on the amazing prayer flags many of you made for Teo. I mounted them on colored background cloth. Now all I have left to do is string them together.

Thank you to everyone who made one. We are very touched by the thoughtful words and artwork that you all created. If you want to make a flag but have not gotten it done yet, feel free to send it at any point. It will be easy to add more after the flags are strung.

I made my own prayer flag today (above) with one of my favorite Hafiz poems on it.

Your Very Special Midwife

2009-10-15T21:24:00.000-07:00

Dear Teo,

Yesterday, we took you to visit Chris Heritage, the midwife who delivered you (and also your brother, Sage).

Chris hugged me and your papa, and then she turned her attention to you. You were relaxed and alert while she held you, and she was clearly delighted by you. It was fun to watch her interact with you in that special way that grandmothers have. She said you could be her honorary grandson.

When I was in labor with you, Chris was wearing a t-shirt that she got from a triathlon she did. When I looked up and saw that shirt, and I felt so inspired. I figured that if Chris has the strength and determination to finish a triathlon, then I could make it through labor.

We are happy that you will grow up knowing Chris. She is wise and kind and funny, and it was her generous heart and competent hands that helped guide you into this world.

Visiting Friends at the Relief Nursery

2009-10-06T19:15:00.000-07:00

Dear Teo,

You are 17 days old. I took you to the Birth Center today to get weighed, and you are 7 pounds, 10 ounces. The lactation consultant, Annie, said that your "latch" is much improved since last week. You have figured out how to nurse without chomping (much to my relief), and nursing is going very smoothly now.

As I write this, you are sleeping in my arms. You have been sleeping a lot during the day, and not as much at night. Today we went to the Relief Nursery (my work), and you slept through an hour or more of being held by my coworkers. They were very excited to meet you. Here are some photos of them holding you.

As you can see, you invariably have one or both of your hands up by your head. You like to sleep in that position, and when you nurse, you often rest one hand against your cheek, which makes you look very serious and thoughtful.

Ari (Jayda's daddy)

Blythe

Linda

Katherine

Jessie

A.J.

Lorena

Lori

Beatriz

Lupe

Lane

Debra

Clint

Your First Week

2009-09-27T23:29:00.000-07:00

Dear Teo,

You are already over a week old! You have spent most of your time sleeping and nursing, but you also have had moments of quiet alertness when you look around at your world with a focused, thoughtful expression. Sometimes you raise your eyebrows, and you get little crinkles on your forehead that make you look like a surprised old man. You have smiled a few times, mostly in your sleep. Today you smiled when I massaged your feet.

One thing you seem to really be working on right now is getting your thumb in your mouth. You have done it a couple of times, and since then I have seen you trying to coordinate opening your mouth at the same time you move your hand toward your face. Once, you grabbed one hand with the other and pulled it toward your mouth. You practice this with patient concentration.

Here are some photos of your first week.

Love,
Mama and Papa

Happy Birthing Day!

2009-09-20T20:20:00.000-07:00

On Friday, September 18th, 2009

Mateo Kenika Nokose Carpenter

was born at 9:02 p.m.

At Sacred Heart Regional Medical Center

Springfield, Oregon

He weighed 6 lbs., 8 oz

and was 20 inches long.

Jessie's labor lasted almost exactly 5 hours.

Michael "caught" Mateo when he was born, and cut the cord.

Also attending the birth were

our amazing midwife, Christine Heritage, CNM.

our doula, Kristin Collier,

and nurse, Dannette Martin, RN.

We stayed at the hospital for 24 hours, and we are so glad to be back home now.

We are all doing great - strong, healthy and so grateful for our little family!

Mateo is a handsome, sweet, sweet baby. He loves to snuggle.

He doesn't like diaper changes, and he lets us know with a loud complaint.

Mateo also sleeps well, though Mama and Papa are still a little sleep deprived!

Here is a link to the announcement posted by the hospital:

Sacred Heart BabyAlbum

Waiting for You . . .

2009-09-10T22:25:00.000-07:00

Dear baby Mateo,

It is about a week before your due date, and I keep thinking I am going into labor. Maybe it is wishful thinking because I am so excited to meet you. Your papa and I have everything ready. The carseat is installed, your baby clothes and diapers are all organized, the bag is packed for the hospital, and our dear doula is ready to drop everything at a moment's notice to offer her support.

Today was my last day at work. I am usually very focused at work because I love what I do and the people I work with, but yesterday and today I felt restless and distracted . . . ready to just be at home and set aside everything not related to preparing for your birth.

Oceana came over today and we played with playdough. She still calls you "Baby Coconut" sometimes, and she likes to kiss my belly and talk to you. Tonight she told you about the monsters that live in our attic, and she said she'd protect you from them. She just started kindergarten this week, so she feels very grown up now.

Your papa will be home from work soon, and he will probably talk to you like he does most nights. You always move the most in the late evening when Papa and I are talking. We both love you, Little Bear.

All my heart,
Mama

Autumn

2009-09-04T21:12:00.000-07:00

When I visited Dad's house in July with my brother and sister, I found this poem hanging on the bulletin board. It feels a little strange to post a poem about dying on my little baby's blog, but on the other hand, the message of this poem was one of Dad's teachings - something he can offer to us all, Mateo included. I hope Mateo can grow up with the understanding that there can be beauty and honor in ALL phases of life - including old age and death.

Autumn

Urge me to drop every leaf I don't need

Every task or habit I repeat past its season

Every sorrow I rehearse, every unfulfilled hope I recall

Every person or possession to which I cling

Until my branches are bare, until I hold fast to nothing.

Tutor me through straining night winds

In the passion of moan and pant

The gift of letting go at the moment of most abundance

In the way of falling apples, figs, maple leaves, pecans.

Show me the way of dying in glorious boldness

Yellow, gold, orange, rust, burgandy.

- Monza Noff

Happy Birthday, Dad. I continue to learn from you, Mateo will as well.

Anticipating

2009-09-03T21:03:00.000-07:00

I have been wondering since late last night if I am about to go into labor. I am getting a lot of small contractions, and I just feel . . . different. Mateo has been moving more than usual, too, as though he knows that things are changing.

I can't help but think that tomorrow would be a really lovely day to give birth. It is my dad's birthday. He would have been 66 years old. Tomorrow night is also the night of the full moon, which somehow seems like a good omen.

We'll see, though. Regardless of whether he comes in a day or in a week, I feel very ready to meet and hold our baby boy.

Our Little Bear

2009-08-31T21:42:00.000-07:00

After a recent conversation with Michael's dad, Ben, we decided to give Mateo a second middle name. Ben is part Native American, and he asked if we would include a Muskogee Creek word as part of his grandson's name. He gave us some options, and we decided on Nokose (pronounced Nakosee), which means "bear." Ben is descended from the Bear tribe, so this animal has special meaning to him.

Bears symbolize primal power, healing, wisdom, protection, gentle strength and the blending of instinct and intuition.

Our son's full name will be

Summertime

2009-08-29T16:20:00.000-07:00

Dear Mateo,
What a sweet late summer day! Papa and I slept in and had a lazy morning. Then I headed over to the Saturday Market to hear Kristin (our doula) in her debut singing performance. One of the pieces she sang was George Gershwin's "Summertime."

Kristin has a lovely voice, but what made her performance special was how expressive she is. She was so playful - smiling, shrugging her shoulders or winking at the audience at different points in the song - as though she was letting us all in on a secret.

Four little girls danced in front of the stage, and you kicked and pressed your body outward, wanting to dance, too, maybe, so I patted you in time to the music.

After hearing Kristin sing, I wandered through the market, admiring the crafts and picking out produce. Several people commented that I looked strong and happy, though I am obviously "about to pop." I do feel strong and happy. I love being pregnant. I love being pregnant with YOU, Mateo.

One of the vendors was selling handmade picture frames, and I picked out one for this photo of your Grammy, my mom, playing the piano that we now have in our house. Grammy learned to play on this piano, and so did I. Maybe one day you will learn on it, too.

It's summertime, and the livin' does feel easy today. And one of these mornings, little one, you will rise up singing.

Summertime,
And the livin' is easy
Fish are jumpin'
And the cotton is high

Oh, Your mamma's rich
And your daddy's good lookin'
So hush little baby
Don't you cry

One of these mornings
You're going to rise up singing
Then you'll spread your wings
And you'll take to the sky

But until that morning
There's a'nothing can harm you
With your daddy and mammy standing by

Amy's Gift for Mateo

2009-08-19T22:42:00.001-07:00

My very sweet friend, Amy Bunker, called me today and asked me to meet her for tea. Amy has always seemed to me to be infused with an inextinguishable spark of joy and kindness. I got to know her this last year while she was interning in my classroom.

Today, Amy gave me this amazing quilt that she made as a gift for Mateo. It includes photos of many of the people who make up Teo's family - including me, Michael and Sage, my mom, my brother and sister and my niece; my dad and his six sisters, my friends (coworkers) from the Relief Nursery, and also Chris, the midwife who delivered Sage and will also deliver Mateo.

Shortly after I got the quilt home, our little cat, Bindi, hopped up on it and expressed very clearly how much she loved it!

The center photo on the quilt is one of my very favorite pictures of me and Michael. It was taken at a friend's baby shower the day we found out I was pregnant with Mateo! The joy we were feeling is obvious in our smiles!

Thank you, Amy, for this beautiful gift and for investing your whole heart in everything you do.

Community

2009-08-17T22:18:00.000-07:00

Somewhere a circle of hands will open to receive us,

eyes will light up as we enter, voices will celebrate with us.
Community means strength that joins our strength
to do the work that needs to be done.
Arms to hold us when we falter.
A circle of healing. A circle of friends.
Someplace where we can be free.

--Starhawk